Did/will that shot get him laid? If so, how much? Show your work.

Just to be clear, this is happening in a game in which equally realistic simulated murder is a fundamental element, right?

Fortunately, that freedom of speech includes our freedom to tell him to shove it

Holy shit I’ve never read a more resonant description of Seattle. I love my hometown but it is increasingly populated by that vaguely clueless new money brogrammer type.

It’d be great to drive but shit for Porsche’s bottom line

Are you Matt, a radar technician?

Isn’t this an episode of 30 Rock?

You’re free to walk

Probably the volume of roads?

I’d be more intrigued by Curry with the Spurs

+1 seriously underappreciated

keming

Why the hell were those the choices?

The use of the nested verb clauses here is super trippy because c) is both related to the original subject and a dependent clause of b).

That’s 9 inches. Trust me, 9 inches makes a big difference.

I read it twice, said “what?” out loud to myself, and then scrolled down.

Way too easy. Still good

Well, you see, I think it's oh god I'm so distracted

As a Seahawks fan, the mixture of blind optimism and bleak disillusionment from my friends quite jarring

Firefly wore it better. Sorry not sorry