step one: buy bulk quick oats at the store

We have the best baby wipe warmer: my hand. ball that shit (the wipe, not the shit) in your hand while you are undoing the clothes and dirty diaper and by the time you’re wiping, it’s nearly body temperature.

The other day a recruiter sent me an email asking if i knew anyone who’d be interested in a job at Trump Hotels International.

I don’t use a chair to squat at the gym... just roll it out of the way.

you lost me when the a-b pillar dip showed up. try again without that.

If you know him, you’ll know his response to hearing... emotional, heartfelt, and genuine. He’s just a great guy to witness.

We gave our son the middle name “Lewis” for him. My wife told him so while shaking his hand at his book signing when she was pregnant with our son.

I’m ok with that option. They do always have shit on sale and I guess raw materials are raw materials.

I’m ok with that option. They do always have shit on sale and I guess raw materials are raw materials.

I put some gum in the alley back in 93.

Please do not buy these boxy, ill-fitting, grampa shirts. Go somewhere that has researched men’s fashion at least once in the last 50 years.

Please do not buy these boxy, ill-fitting, grampa shirts. Go somewhere that has researched men’s fashion at least…

I know it’s not “under 100 dollars” but I picked up the Hitachi dual bevel 12 inch with laser model a while back for building a shed in which to put a miter saw. It worked flawlessly and I love using it. I strongly encourage stepping up to a 12 incher if only to cut big wood in a single pass.

I know it’s not “under 100 dollars” but I picked up the Hitachi dual bevel 12 inch with laser model a while back for…

Definitely budget for the tips. Have them READY TO GO (in cash, in labeled envelopes) when the services are performed. Make sure to designate a tip distributor beforehand.

I thought we were fasting for the blood sugar testing portion of the blood panel.

Why would they need to create a new model when the existing Countryman is basically that car with 2 inches more headroom?

I did a clutch on an 88 alltrac by myself outside in a half a day. get your shit together!

It’s pretty easy to line your own envelopes and we all know this place is lousy with crafty bastards. We had a friend do our graphic design, got them made online (letterpress is gorgeous but also unnecessary—still we did it) and stuffed them ourselves. It wasn’t that bad. Or maybe it was. They were pretty awesome.…

Three will definitely let you know if your brake bias is set improperly.

Continuously Variable

Cows are very space inefficient. They require a lot of land and resources to grow. Leather production is linked to deforestation (space!). Vegan materials aren’t just for smelly hippies who don’t eat animal products.

Wife wants to watch local baseball games. Cable it is! Can’t stream them because MLB = Major League Blackouts.