It's funny because the one with money is actually getting to be less of an asshole.

Nougat is good. Caramel is better.

well, one has plenty of money and the other one could die in a fire and i wouldn't be all that sad so i shan't be paying for a damn thing for them.

sure, when the Beatles write down all the crazy shit that they think up while on huge amounts of drugs they call it "The Greatest Album Ever" but when i do it they throw me out of the Christmas service.

you want to spend money to HELP people? what are you, some kind of commie?

semi-sentient seems generous.

there's still a political center?

one day people will look back at this time and history and say "it sure must have been nice not to have all this radiation to deal with."

"tell my wife 'hello'" is maybe the funniest single line i've ever seen. even after dozens of times seeing it i still laugh.

I like how you worked in a scientology slam for seemingly no reason.

Clearly right boob is the only correct choice. Only a moron that hates boobs would vote for left boob.

Hooray I guess. It'd be way cooler if they decided to work together and actually govern the country in a manner that best serves the most people.

Outside ever silver lining is a dark, murderous cloud.

They much shorter and much more correct version of this article is to simply not eat brats because they are gross.*

So you're saying it's perfect for Fox?

You, a simpleton: can you explain these contradictory statements?

What kind of person goes to see a movie about getting to stare at cat anuses?

yeah, that'll show him.

it's almost as if none of these people actually knew anything about the play Julius Caesar.

i bet he rented that tinfoil hat with his tax rebate.