GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO

This is the most Philadelphia moment ever: the Eagles, uncool white guys, troubling political views, Amoroso rolls.

I hate to see white-on-white violence like that.

I nominate you to take it to the Canadian parliament and get this sorted out. And please specifically ask about this 2nd amendment you speak of.

“Don’t rope me into this, dad!”

Oh, come on. My crippling alcoholism is a fine religion, if you ask me.

All religions suck.

but but but...every sperm is sacred:

You, sir, are so full of cromulence.

That is a blatantly calumniuous comment.

Ted Cruz combines the charisma of a mortician with the political savvy of the kid who wears a suit while running for high school class president.

Ha, losers!

What a coincidence that Kevin Johnson would get hit with a cream pie when usually he’s trying to give one to teenage girls.

Lowell Cohn has been fussy since the Sporting Green was green and a newspaper.

Agreed. 1 pin maybe. But when that motherfucker rolls up to the podium with a pin on BOTH lapels. Damn, that fucker loves America.

How to Deal With The Media

Don’t worry deadspin will be shuttered soon too

But the Huayra is named after the god of wind, so it goes WHOOSH!

Fool!