He was merely exacting justice for when LBJ orchestrated the assassination of his father, John Fitzgerald.

Are you the Designated Survivor while the rest of the Deadspin staff is at the award ceremony?

do you really want us to go back to commenting?
think really hard about this

It would be super hypocritical of comic book fans to punish someone just for having an alter ego.

I’m just gonna take a second to say that Bleeding Cool sucks.

Even odds that guy has done time for mail fraud or selling prescription meds out of his van.

RIP Birdman, taken too soon.

At least we arent bowling.

If you put $5,000 into a humor detector on January 1, 2017, then you’d be able to comprehend the meaning behind my comment today. Have fun with that knowledge.

He just tweeted it out.

Sure, you may laugh at Ben now, but who’s going to be laughing when his pyramid granaries save humanity?

Tulip bulbs! Get your tulip bulbs!

This is the equivalent of trading in a 16 year old Toyota pick-up truck for a previously returned Power Wheels Jeep from Toys R Us.

That was the plot of a Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law.

Mmmmm, cellular peptide cake.

Good Morning Kinjaers!

Now I want to watch this stupid sketch, but I can’t. I can’t find a video of it anywhere. Now, in my imagination, it’s the funniest sketch in the world, but I’ll never get to see it! It’s like...it’s like when you find one of those 30 second porn clips, and you’re like, “This is the hottest shit ever! O-oh my god, if…

They aren’t wrong. I would kneel during the national anthem but I just respect Safelite repair techs too much.

The Winnipeg Jets are dead to me until they go back to their old unis.