(Gets on telestrator) This was a really good use of the producer’s challenge flag here.

Feels like there’s some sort of way to make a political joke about old white people screwing up and going with the wrong winner.

Whatever, her grandfather was the worst professor I ever had and then I heard he killed some guy.

“Don’t let the daaaaaays goooo by.... ...Hulkerine.”

An old friend of mine was/is a TSA agent at Logan airport and told me this:

“Why do they keep complaining about us using excessive force and killing people too much? Hey, let’s use the Punisher logo on our cars, maybe that will get them to trust us better!”

A caller asked later her whether they ever had sex before games and Upton said that he was superstitious enough that they never did.

Welcome to the proud nation of Cockolcadia. I am your leader Dickleston Wangsby.

but the important thing is that i had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time.

I remember back in the day when I could take a signed contract with the numbers blank into management and they’d do right by you by gar.

At the very least they should release these things into theaters with the audio pre-RiffTraxed.

WAIT- DO YOU LACK THE ABILITY TO LOOK AT RELATIVE SCALE? DO YOU UNDERSTAND OBJECT PERMANENCY? ARE YOU A SHOEHORNAHOLIC?! SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS!

Dude I know glue is cheap but stop sniffing it

Sounds like a guy contemplating moving in with his girlfriend

Tell me this, Bible - who are the good romans?

Wonder how many confederate flag wavers are telling Hillary supporters “you lost, get over it”?

Oh no, do these types of rules apply to commenters? Asking for a friend.

Yeah but if you set a man on fire it will keep him warm for the rest of his life.

The one-eyed monster!

This take is like the opposite of sports talk radio. In other words, I enjoyed it immensely and agree 100%.