“I don’t see why not.”

Do you have a substantive response? Or are you laughing at how completely outclassed you are in this argument, and how you said something so obviously wrong?

Mercury helped prove General Relativity. If you lived on Mercury you would live longer than you will on Earth. (If you could figure out how to survive the heat and/or cold...) That, alone, should bump it out of last place.

God, this is painful to watch. (Your writing, not the video.)

“WTF does saturn do?”

“Kiss the ringz.”-Saturn

Uranus’s name is not unfortunate it is a gift to anyone whose sense of humour never evolved (completely) beyond pull my finger. And pull my finger is still fucking funny. Add in the sideways and the green and it should be a solid fourth.

Mercury just tries harder:

Cassini hits me because it loves me.

Mercury (9) is criminally under-ranked. How cool is Mercury? —>

Despite the accusations, this list is not an excuse to troll Pluto, which as New Horizons showed us is unexpectedly awesome. But it’s not a planet. (I enjoyed and recommend this book about it.)

Mercury is the tough-luck go-getter putting in all the hard work in the unappreciated blazing inferno of sunlight while all those GLORY BOY planets get the groupies and highlight reels

A) It is not a planet, it’s a trans-Neptunian object, like the much larger Eris.

How the hell is Jupiter not number one? It’s the biggest. It has rings like Saturn. It has a huge red eye. Lots of moons. If you want to make earth number one, that’s fine, but Jupiter is no lower than two. In fact, Jupiter is better than all the others combined. Jupiter is king. Neptune got slighted too.

I insist A) that Pluto is a planet, and B) that Uranus’s unfortunate name is canceled out by its cool sideways-ness and by how it is usually rendered in a sinister greenish color.

I gotta go Uranus over Neptune. Its axis of rotation is nearly sideways! Neptune’s got nothing distinguishing it, except for being the last planet (RIP Pluto). Plus, “Uranus” joins 69 and asparagus pee in the pantheon of things that anyone who was ever 13 years old finds funny.

GTFO with your hot Pluto takes. This isn’t Pitchfork.

Doesn’t Jupiter keep us from getting pummeled by asteroids? WTF does Saturn and Mars do for us?!

Kick It Out called it “offensive and discriminatory” and said “racist stereotypes are never acceptable, irrespective of any intention to show support for a player,” per the BBC.

Racist my ass. They always used to sing about Wayne Rooney’s 8 inch penis like all the time. They just exaggerate by a factor of 4 is all.