That would violate the Eighth Amendment.

I can only assume that community service in Toronto consists of bringing 12-packs of Molson to Rick Moranis’ house.

“He no longer enjoys the relative anonymity that most of us do. He’s become known… as the beer can guy.”

That poor bastard, now he can only go to Padres and Phillies games.

In that Tony Kornheiser is distracted by my form-fitting wardrobe?

This is all just part of a textbook pro wrestling work

Having listened to the attached clip I believe the targets of his ire was as follows: The English language, the person in charge of mic levels on First Take, and everyone waiting for their car to get fixed across America.

I rather just watch the Simpson/Tatum fight again.

Kerr also added: Except for the ‘96 Bulls. Those guys, especially the guys coming off the bench, would have crushed this team.

Not sure I like the direction the sausage race has taken.

“I hope you all get in a plane crash and die.”

ESPN once stood for

Fuck ESPN. Clayton is great - a knowledgeable yet common man with the ability to laugh at himself.

+1, great bronze or greatest bronze?

One of these days I want a hit batter to just calmly take his base, let the situation cool down, and then blindside rush the pitcher from the first base.

Terri, CLEAR YOUR FUCKING INBOX!

Thank you for writing this.

“Lucy! Lucy, get in here!”

“Michael Bennett is immature. Meanwhile, I’m using my journalism pedestal to finger wag a professional athlete.”