I’ll be sorely disappointed if Trump TV doesn’t have a morning show called Fruit Loops with Billy Bush.

Holy fuck. I hate when Judges get killed. To me, it’s like killing the whole concept of justice. My sympathies to the Judge’s family and to Mexico. This is seriously terrible. 

I want a clinton sticker on my car, but I am genuinely afraid that someone will slam into me. I am in a very blue part of Oregon, but the few trump supporters here are batshit crazy. One attacked a girl at my school last week.

I just told my coworkers yesterday that I am honestly scared for the violence that Trump supporters will wreak when they don’t win.

Does that pram have a chandelier what am I looking at here

tried to watch Melania interview, she looks like a Stepford wife with Stockholm syndrom and lying

I hate that I’m actually getting scared for my safety. I have the only Clinton sign in my yard among a street of Trump signs.

The nightmare absolutely will not end on election day. It may every well get worse.

“I’m so very sorry, but when we were stitching you up Dr. WTF sewed his finger to your labia. It didn’t worsen the tear, but fluids mixed and we do need to do an HIV test. After we re-sew.”

During an election season pelvic exam a few years ago, my gyno said of my uterus, “Hm, you seem to be leaning a little to the right.” The phrasing startled me and I blurted out, “Well, that’s the only part of me that does!” And that’s how I ended up having a political discussion with my doctor while she was wrist deep…

As soon as Hillary answered the question, I was like “THAT is shade, Dad! That’s what I mean when I say somebody threw shade.” And that’s how I educated my Dad on ‘shade’. The end.

It was also the clearest yet most polite “go fuck yourself” I’ve ever read. That was like ninja master burnage.

Yeah I feel like there’s traitors allll over that campaign and I love it.

“His children are incredibly able and devoted, and I think that says a lot about Donald.”

Like, he literally said something to the effect of “I don’t know if you’re actually complimenting me or not...” lol The whole thing was a hilarious mindfuck she played on the entire family.

THANK YOU for including the Hillary Clinton one. People seemed to be so confused thinking she actually/genuinely complimented his children. Like, no. They were her props in that moment. She knew it; they knew it; we knew it; the audience (who chuckled) knew it. Hell, people not even yet born knew what she meant.

The video version is even better:

Of course it’s the Donald Trump that Jackie and I knew...but well she’s dead. Whew, got out of that marriage just in time. And of course he’s definitely the Donald Trump that Marianne and I knew, but well, you know how that one turned out. Wait. What was the question again?

Ugh, it was an awful flight. There was a baby crying, they ran out of V8, and this guy in a lumpy suit grabbed me by the pussy.