The only way to tell this would be as a Walter Mitty-esque story, regularly fading into Santos dreaming that he really is all of the things he claimed to be.

It’s not so much news as insight into the process of making the most successful film of 2023. As someone who has tried to inhabit a character, I find it very interesting to see how Robbie and Gerwig went about doing this with a non-person. That’s a lot more difficult than portraying a real human, either fictional or…

The definition of a consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you what time it is.

I was being (semi-) facetious. A household would need to be pretty wealthy before the purchase of a vehicle didn’t require mutual buy-in. But I do think that personal opinions carry a lot of weight, and has a lot to do with happiness. I am a fan of long roofs, but my wife truly hates station wagons. I have no idea…

Nah, it won’t come to that, because the same people that were burning down 5G cell towers will sabotage these right quick. How else can they prevent Bill Gates from contaminating their precious bodily fluids?

Carjacking is an almost perfect crime. The thing you steal is very valuable and enables a quick getaway. As these crimes increase, I’ve thought that an effective counter-measure would be a device (installed by a car alarm shop) that interacted with a wearable transponder via Bluetooth. If someone steals the car at…

And target sports cars? Bwahahahah!

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how is it the wife was able to unilaterally decide on making a big purchase like that?

My brother still hasn’t forgiven Joe Dante for spilling the beans about Santa, which his youngest daughter was not yet aware of.

I’m old enough to have just missed doing a tour of duty in Vietnam, and having lived through the Nixon/Kissinger years, perhaps the weirdest part of his term here on earth was him becoming a highly eligible bachelor, dating slightly past their prime’s movie stars. In his own words: “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”.…

Maybe get Belushi onboard to re-visit Working Stiffs with Still Stiff?

The chain sold out of the four cookie varieties within two hours.

What the hell is “tableside tiramisu”? There’s many things that could be interesting prepared tableside, but isn’t tiramisu something that needs time to come together, like for the booze to soak into the ladyfingers?

a proprietary shade of pink

At least it’s not a rainbow background.

Sesame Street puppet wrangler Lara MacLean, who has worked on the show ever since she first came aboard as an intern in 1992

the Muppet is nevertheless capable of swallowing. There’s a small gullet located inside his mouth that can absorb things like apples, bananas, and small hats.

Yes, but did this year’s cups make baby Jesus cry?

Yeah, between Provel and St. Louis bagels, I’m gonna have to be doubtful: