This was a really special team. They were sitting at 11 and goddamn 30 with no hope of a turnaround and every excuse to quit, in a league that has gotten to the point where tanking on one end and resting players on the other is encouraged. The NBA landscape is ripe for teams to give up individual games and entire…

I dunno, if you’ve staked your identity and emotional wellbeing on being the hot conservative chick that douchey conservative bros all flock around, suddenly not having an outlet for that attention anymore probably is pretty destabilizing. Guess Tomi will have to figure something else to base her self worth on. …

“It’s my job, it’s my life,” Lahren sais. “Without that, I feel lost. When your outlet is taken away from you, when your catharsis is stripped from you, and you don’t understand why and you’re so disappointed and you’re so blindsided by it, it hurts.”

Watching her get eaten by her own is my current catharsis.

My job is my job. My catharsis is cross-stitching and no one can take that from me.

Argh! Don’t look at related stories: “You can barely get an abortion in Ohio, But Beastiality Is Still Legal”

“Parties” are where I sit on the couch drinking whiskey, talking to the host’s cat or dog, and fervently trying to avoid other humans while counting down the minutes until I can leave without seeming rude.

No, parties are where you stand around eyeing the cheese and wondering whether people are judging you for reaching out to grab some for like the fifth time in a couple minutes, while you finish your glass of white wine.

Shit, I work downtown and remember so little disruption from the drafts here that this is beffudling me. How is Philly and the NFL screwing this up?

It was in Chicago’s Grant park last year. Plenty of space and only a handful of streets had to get shut down. I mean why have it any where else?

I’ve been saying this for years. (My wife worked for NYC parks, and was in on some of his bids so I’m familiar with how he runs a business)

Jewish people love Easter.

Oh for fucks sake.

I predict the event will just be Hope Hicks throwing raw eggs at passing children while Stephen Miller shrieks “ENJOY YOUR LAST BIG GOVERNMENT HANDOUT, DICKBAGS!”

He’s spending too much time on Instagram judging the handbags and shoes of maybe-escorts. Takes one to know one.

Right? This was straight-up a self(and family!)-preservation move.

With total Republican control of government, it sure as hell should have been easy. But, somehow you managed to even make that look difficult. It’s almost as if everything you touch turns to shit. You’re like the reverse King Midas.

It’s the SNL skit about the pitch meeting come to life.

Sometimes when I see ridiculous commercials, I try to imagine what that pitch meeting must have been like, and I feel like the phrase “protest is the new brunch” was uttered in this one.

Right?!