Sir, this is an Arby’s drive-through.

“Pats are always thielen calls at home.”

Thielen: That’s bullcrap!

“I don’t get these Packers fans. Cheeseheads? Now that’s just ridiculous. CheeseHANDS are where it’s at. Just ask Ol’ Cheddar Rick. He’s got a pack of dogs for a protection thanks to those sculpted dairy mitts. A nibble a day keeps the other hobos away, as the saying goes. Can’t grab for shit, but he saved a pinky to…

Only One Man could turn this team around.

Still only the second worst McCarthy in Wisconsin history. 

People asked for this. Don’t want to pay for cable and wanted individual channels. This is what happens.

Six foot four and full of gristle 

Good thing somebody out there is thinking for himself.

“Quarterbacks don’t run forever in the NFL,” Lewis said after the 24-21 loss in Baltimore. “Sooner or later, they get hurt, and they don’t run the same. But, today, he could run, and he did a good job.”

Elite death?

Don’t hurt yourself celebrating that joke.

As a born-and-bred Las Vegan, this is the absolute worst market for a MLB team. It’s ungodly hot, there is little to no local wealth outside of gaming (which is solely dependent on discretionary income and the health of the economy on a macro-basis), and the town is too transient. Not to mention, Vegas is a basketball…

New York could use a second team

Joe Buck is still blowing into a paper bag trying to recover from Randy Moss pretending to pull his pants down. Troy Aikman would have to drive.

It’s the defenses fault for getting burnered. 

And were’s what Joe Theismann, then of ESPN, wrote about it:

If Thomas had pulled out a hidden can of Bud Light from under that goal post Troy Aikman would have rubbed his nipples while screaming ‘Dilly Dilly’ to keep his corporate overlords happy.

Everyone at the game knew what he was doing the second he reached under that pad and they fucking loved it. It was a fun bit of fan service and the entire fox broadcast crew can be sewn together in a human centipede ouroboros and eat shit forever for all I care. 

Thankfully for those who hold things like a painted logo on a football field in such high regard, the grounds crew has since patched things up.