I remember when I was doing digging in college, my dad just said, “APR shouldn’t matter, don’t carry a balance.”

Car controls should not be designed to be hard to grasp in less than 2 minutes.

VW also announced today that the Golf sportwagen (not alltrack) will be available with AWD and manual.

I’m also very happy to announce that with this, Maggie is going to be one of Jalopnik’s regular columnists. She spends most of her time writing novels but expect to see a lot more of her writing here soon!

Fiata Is Always The Answer

Oh, I thought this was going to be about ordering enough food to feed 4 people and then yelling to your imaginary family “Food’s here!” so that the delivery guy doesn’t think you’re a loser ordering a single serving of orange chicken on a Friday night.

I don’t know what part of the Midwest you were in, but around here everyone thinks they are a trash bird that spends its time shitting on golf courses. And walking around with a conveniently golf ball sized head at the end of a long golf tee like neck, acting like I wouldn’t murder its smug ass given half a chance.

Why buy a racing thoroughbred when you can buy this used Ferrari instead?

Dammit, the answer was exercise. I was trying to avoid that.

Dear IOC,

The best part about summer is that it’s almost fall.

Counterpoint - Margaritas. Or, if you’re a full blown...lush like me, blended rye whiskey and ice.

What in the living fuck is an Otter Pop?

Just sayin’.

also known as the “6 3/4 Litre“ because old England doesn’t use decimals

Not the only owner with a sense of humor here in California

Do you have a $5. Drop that in the bowl (MAKE SURE THE BAR TENDER SEES YOU DO IT!) and you’re golden for the rest of the night.

A few years ago, I did a favor for a friend. He was extremely drunk and had to write a paper that was due at midnight.

Since it was the beginning of his last semester, and the material was easy, I stepped in and cranked it out.

Two days later, it happened again, and once again, I manned-up.

He ends up panicked that, now…