The only way the two could be more interchangeable is if one had Dermont Mulroney in a supporting role while the other one featured Dylan McDermott.

Yeah, that was the one that stuck out to me. You get the crunchiness of a crunchy taco with the structural integrity of a soft taco! Why the HELL are you getting rid of one of the best things on the menu?

Clearly, Over-Educated Jampot could use comedy tips from somebody who does a “pretend to misunderstand the intent of the sentence” joke, and immediately follows it up by assuring anyone reading that actually, they DID understand the intent of the sentence.

Yeah, pulling out your phone just allows Siri or Alexa to steal the show instead. “Pete? It’s Tim Cook from Apple. We got your entire show—some college student spent the whole time taking selfies and putting their index finger in front of your waist like it was your penis, and we just turned their mic on. Deliver five…

And The Saint immediately after!

In this instance, what he’s learned is “don’t ask Wes for guitar-solo tips immediately after making fun of his tendency to wear serial-killer masks onstage.”

Rather than complain about the noisy dogs, I would simply pet them.

Thanks to The Washington Post for identifying the neighborhood where I’m going to be cruising up and down in my ‘85 Volvo while blasting Whitesnake out the windows all weekend.

Henry V: “Hey France, check out THESE tennis balls.”

There’s a tennis player named Andrey Rublev? And he beat Federer?

Correction: I’m pretty sure the name of that song is “Get It Low.”

Not for the Rey storyline. But considering that she is shown spending multiple days on the island, and the Poe/Finn/Rose storyline begins with Leia saying they have 36 hours before they run out of fuel, there has to be a gap there. Rey is on that island for longer than 36 hours, therefore there has to be a gap that…

I would appreciate it if the Russian bots would go back to undermining our system of government and leave sports alone. Stick to politics!

Problem is, the service at Chick Fil A comes with instructions for all employees to be creepily, over-performatively nice, like you’re at the house of a midwestern Mormon family whose beloved matriarch you ran over with your car 2 weeks ago.

I was referring to every other Star Wars movie, which seems a much better barometer for how this will operate than a movie that was making a point of upending every standard Star Wars move it could, but points for pedantry.

There are gaps of time in between the movies.

The Force: “Fuck this particular species of lizard.”

Why are we all talking about Evil Rey and not Evil C-3PO?

HE STOLE

I really like how Mike Myers uses him in the Austin Powers movies. Like those movies, it’s half a sendup of the sort of scores Bacharach wrote, half a celebration of them.