Darnielle’s Twitter feed and interviews still extoll the beauty of death metal, the necessity of Planned Parenthood and liberal abortion laws, and the virtues of the LGBTQ community with the same frequency that they did before his extremely mild internal philosophical adjustment (you might note that, even in an…

Props to the announcers for pretending that Tropicana Field confers any of the usual advantages of a home field for the Devil Rays. Keep illusory hope alive!

Damn, the plebes get mad when you deny them their two minutes’ hate.

Maximum respect to all the warriors

This is America, so while I’m saddened by this horrible and in-retrospect-avoidable accident, I still say it’s every citizen’s right to get meth with our KFC.

I tell everyone this, too. I’m hoping it cuts down on the number of complaints my local politicians receive, so mine will stand out more.

Can’t believe I’m the first to mention probably my favorite line from the whole season:

Only if they also remove the lyrics.

I don’t know why Clooney’s character seemed so upset about blowing the last part of that speech. “If we had...but...faith!” is already the line where the director was going to insert the low-angle profile shot of him gazing up at the cross anyway.

I, too, like the Harry Potter butt.

The really sad thing about most of the Harry Potter games we’ve gotten so far is not that they are largely templates of other, more familiar games, but that they are bad templates of other, more familiar games. Like, sure, I’d love to have a unique, expansive open-world RPG that sees you start out by choosing your…

And the thing that makes that scene truly great is that it manages, despite all those flaws, to work, both as a scene within the movie we’re watching and a look-how-good-George-Clooney-is-at-monologues showcase.

I think ripping off the Band-Aid hurts the fans less than four seasons of increasingly-depressing false hope that Westbrook can get you to a title.

Mary Sue has some characters? What are they like?

Reiser shows up at the very end, when the cavalry finally gets to Hawkins. There’s a shot of him walking into the destroyed lab.

You can tell that a remake is necessary and good when the major creative decision seems to be, “change things so that the lyrics no longer make sense.” I look forward to getting a remake of Singin’ in the Rain where “Good Morning” takes place in midafternoon.

Your ability to ask questions like that, in a just world, would get you a job sitting around a conference table at Disney, from which you would immediately be fired after asking those questions while Disney went ahead and made this piece of dreck anyway.

To be fair, the version of King Lear that gained popularity in the eighteenth century was the Nahum-Tate-edited version where Lear and Cordelia both live, and Cordelia marries Edgar. Samuel Johnson actually thought it was superior to Shakespeare’s original play, which was too nihilistic to really match his…

Well, you’ve got to admire the fan’s dedication.

I’m happy that this review takes the time to catalog the film’s numerous shortcomings, but I think all any prospective viewer needs to know is “ ‘Can You Feel The Love Tonight’ now unfolds during the day, for some reason.”