Not only an amazing goal, but a great way for a decrepit old man to not have to run any farther down the field than is strictly necessary!

“My next blues song is about when you get the blues because you wanted to write a song called ‘Rich Kid’s Blues,’ but then you discover Jack White already wrote a song with that title. Stay in your lane, Jack White! You weren’t a rich kid; you were still upholstering furniture to pay the bills when De Stijl came out.”

And in the women’s case, it’s that everyone is vaguely aware of @dril’s Twitter handle, even if they never use it or say it.

Nice to finally figure out what that scene in John Wick 3 was referencing.

I’m honestly a little confused at how none of these repeat trials have constituted double jeopardy. Does prosecutorial misconduct result in a mistrial?

Even better—make it a Long Walk! Members of Montreal’s 12-year-old little league make the walk, the players march behind with the guns.

Too many black people involved for Lifetime to ever touch this, unfortunately.

I think your job at the sweaty balls factory might have a bit more to do with it.

Brave of the guy whose last name resembles a pile-up at the Consonant Factory to cast aspersions on someone else’s moniker.

Your line is, “That’s a very silly submersible and I’m not going to write about it any more.”

Wow, stories on Copa America really bring out the South American commenters, don’t they?

I wonder if he ever has to say, “No, you’re thinking of the other Max who is a writer and also the son of a famous 70s and 80s comedy writer/director. The bad one. Yes, that applies to both the son and the director.”

Pretty sure “a shooting permit” refers to a permit needed to shoot a film in a military dictatorship.

When he discovered that the Canadian crowd understood that the rhythmic pumping of his outstretched arms was an invitation to do the “Ole, ole ole ole” chant, he knew he had found his new home.

Thanks, now I’m counting the days until Lavar defends his actions by saying, “I advocate for my kids because I love them! You don’t see Michael Kidd-Gilchrist’s dad out here calling out the Nets for refusing to take his rookie option. I feel like a father who doesn’t step up like that isn’t really there for his kid!”

You can’t please everyone, Joe.

It’s just burned sugar! I’m not going to let BIG CANDY sell me something I can make on my own!

One way to find out. Anyone up for a road trip? Sorry about the smell, but it’s a lot cheaper to fill up all those gas cans before we get to California.

“Lacking the ability to distinguish words” as badly as someone who conflates “i.e.” with “e.g.?”

Now I think I’m the one creating misunderstandings: it’s not that I think a movie’s overt political expression is important, it’s just that I don’t think politics are separable from any facet of life. Every choice that everyone makes at any point has a political dimension, and if the person making that choice wasn’t…