*Jedi hand wave*

I give it 5 months, tops, before his wife runs off with this Siri woman. Obviously there’s a healthier bond between the two of them.

***Edit: nvm, Sid and Financy beat me to this joke***

Mortal Kombat did rip off Enter the Dragon, and might be the best movie based on a fighting game (not that there’s much competition), so you might be on to something there.

I mean, if a Spanish reality show was on at the same bar, I might watch to see if I can figure out the cast dynamics, or see if anyone throws drinks or gets into a loud fight.

Wait, so when a player gets sent off with a red card, you don’t get to replace that player, right? Did Rangers have to play the rest of the match without a goalie?

The average elevation of Colorado is 6,800 feet, so our teams are actually giving up nearly 1000 feet in elevation by being in Denver. Just be grateful we haven’t relocated them all to Leadville.

Right, when he was jumping up for the layup, as far as he knew, he was already inside the circumference of the hoop. I imagine it would be difficult to make a layup in those circumstances.

Peter Farrelly would’ve gotten Green Book made a lot faster, without all those pesky script rewrites.

If I was the troll, though, now I know that this sociopath can have his life ruined by revealing plot points in a movie he wants to see. I’d just make a hobby out of seeing whatever big nerd-centric movie is in theaters opening night, then finding a way to spoil it for the guy. Buy a burner phone and text him plot…

I personally was hoping the story wasn’t going to be so predictable. There should’ve been a weird turn at the end, like, “I knew he had to go to his apartment for his Captain America shield before he went to the theater, so I grabbed my phone with all the pics, snuck into his place ahead of time using the hide-a-key,…

Isn’t that the twist of all revenge plots, though? You become so obsessed with your revenge that you lose your humanity in the process, and become that which you initially hated.

A filmed depiction of this would make for a movie with more legitimate tension and personal stakes than anything in the Marvel movies, and I say this as a big fan of the Marvel movies.

Despite Streets of Rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.

Wait, it’s spelled “Crupkey?” I always assumed it was “Krupke.”

I can’t tell if the “Kyle Lowry” dig is about Lowry being fat for the first 8 years of his career, or about Lowry being a fraud. Here for it either way.

We’ve gotta find a way for this guy to marry a lady named Hellemann.