Someone get 007 on this. His accent will be handy.

Damn beat me to it.

Holy shit this pretty accurate. Kudos

He could’ve beaten the record if he needed to.

Go Cubs Go!

Hopefully something regarding how much the Cardinals and their fans suck.

#feminism

What in the hell did I just skim?

You get held up! And you get held up! AND YOU GET HELD UP!!

More quality work. Nice

I don’t know

As much as I wanna say Phelps is the greatest Olympian of this century, it’s becoming a tougher rationalization.

Easy, gymnastics. The balance beam alone can break bones. I’d for sure snap my neck somehow.

That last paragraph is on point. Well done.

Does he let the wife touch him, at least? Doubt it

Busch league

It was great until the girl got in the way.

Well the had to put the body parts somewhere, right?

I wouldn’t blame anyone for bolting for the cash and the chance to compete. These windows athletes have are small.

I’m scared.