True enough. When I compare the sights of Guardians of the Galaxy 2 with “the inside of my blacked-out SCBA facepiece, dark as a deacon’s hat but for the tiny air-indicator light below my right eye” it is, as best, a tossup.

More boring than missionary?

Apropos: There’s a junked, gutted cineplex near where I live that we use for search-and-rescue training in the fire department. Tear out the drywall, put on your air mask and blindfold yourself to simulate ‘zero visibility’ conditions and it makes for a pretty nightmarish experience. We do things like “find the…

Yep. Should just have skee-ball machines that dispense venison jerky instead of paper tickets.

It’s so, so sad: All those hard working government employees, forced to play the shittiest arcade games ever made.

Yes. I watch enough ‘human fail’-style videos to recognize what you’re referring to. More broadly: “Anticipate the recoil.” Like, “However tightly you are holding that gun, hold it a little tighter than that.”

You mean the comment in which you embedded your own tweet? One of just 11 tweets you’ve EVER apparently made?

Mmm, good. Precisely ranking groups of people on scales of oppression. That’s worked out so well for us in the past.

All the jokes I want to make about this are actually today’s news.

Who should they be marketed for? Answer the question.

The book of The Island of Dr Moreau is really good.

then I don’t care

Oh man, you were a backer weren’t you? Geeze, I’m sorry. How much of a position did you take? Your kids whole college fund, huh? Ouch.

I’m sorry

I haven’t felt this good since my last boweling . . .

This is what comes of taxing investment income at substantially less than labor earnings. Money builds up in huge piles, it sloshes around, builds up, gropes around blindly for places to park itself and grow. Even with palatial homes and yachts and cars and trophy wives and multiple passports and Senate seats, beyond…

And when it’s all done, the winner has successfully won control of North Africa.

What’s wrong with titillation? Especially when it involves drawings and not actual pornographic actors?

saw the children

Nope, staying right here, thanks!