No competent usher would ever let someone take their seat in the middle of a pitch. At Nats Park they have literal stop signs that prevent anyone from trying to take their seat while the ball is in play.

“Oh no! The Celtics’ ‘A’ game!” (the sound of a wet firework malfunctioning)

Oh Ok, I’ll just stop working and let my family starve and my house get repossessed because you’ve been slightly inconvenienced. Cool.

So quickly Pablo has embraced the Red Sox way.

Can this count? Because this is my favorite moment involving Russ

But there’s basically a zero-percent chance Davis leaves NOP in RFA (2016) or FA (2017). First, no big-time draftee ever takes the qualifying offer and goes all the way to free agency, because they’re costing themselves millions by doing so. Second, New Orleans is the only team that can offer him the mega-max…

Brooks is awful though. The Thunder have the least creative offense in the league. The only reason to keep him would be if Durant is really close to him. You don’t want Durant getting pissed off at you in a contract year.

18th in defense. No NBA champion has finished lower than 11th in defense in at least 30 years.

You think a capitalist country of 300 people would have done better?

As an electronics technician, there's no way I'm using one if these. For one thing, it's just supposed to slide right up against the screws on the sides of the outlet. Over time, when those plastic tabs get warm from the current and become brittle, the metal contact underneath will fail to make a solid connection.…

Houses older than 5 or 10 years don't just cease to exist. When was the last time you were in a hardware store? Plenty of those outlets on the shelves.

i heard NBC tried to offer Carlin the Tonight Show but he's been dead for 7 years.

It's pretty obvious it was done by the team so the cameras had a good angle... They even left the rooftop open, who does that??

I say this to a lot of Internet strangers, but I really really mean it this time: I think I love you. I made this actual face just now.

Yeah, I mean, when you think "St. Louis" you think "white people" am I right? What?

Westbrook isn't hitting the offensive glass.

Why should he stick around for the rebound?