My attempt:

“Bleacher Report writer Kevin Ding’s recent article entitled “PHIL JACKSON, KNICKS DOOMED BY WANTING CARMELO TO BE SOMETHING HE IS NOT” raises some interesting points. However, my old friend Michael Graham, with whom I used to play in the Continental Basketball Association, taught me to accept a person for…

Kevin Ding at Bleacher Report writes

Um, I think Ashley already posted this blog this morning?

Hey, serious question, what do you call a bunch of people taking a day off to see a parade cheering a guy chanting “no days off!”? Is that irony, or something else?

Try playing a game of Edward 40-hands, then tell me it ain’t the sharpest tool.

nice - trumplethinskin. very nice. stealing it.

Do the old gimmick of having Trump look in the mirror. Baldwin plays Trump; Rosie O’Donnell plays the reflection.

That’s our boy, Trumpelthinskin. Always concerned about the important stuff. Sean Spicer being satirized by a human?!?!

okay, now we NEED Rosie to play Bannon...

Well, I’m only 30.

They will never impeach such a useful idiot.

I, for one, am glad Boston sports fans have something to be happy about today.

Ray Lewis gets into HOF, he murdered a dude. But TO, he is a bad teammate, no HOF.

I don’t think the issue is authenticity; it’s the large, wasteful spending and to a lesser extent, the fact that it was presented disingenuously.

RIP Uncle Phil.

When did this happen? Now I can’t stop seeing Uncle Shaq...

And everyone is so wrapped up in the political theater Trump is creating (cabinet nominations, who tf is Frederick Douglass, Steve Bannon), we’ve yet again skipped over the fact that our POTUS still hasn’t fucking fully divested himself from his businesses, many of which will likely benefit from the financial…