$1B dividend is $1B not spent on R&D. Ford is saying, “Despite the predicted disruption from autonomous vehicles, ride-sharing, alternative energy, etc., we don’t know a useful way to spend this money.”

If karma is real, then what did Chris Brown's baby do wrong?

WHERE'S GEORGE? I fear change. I want George back.

Cheating Death was TOTALLY UNDERRANKED! He almost broke every time he listed side effects.

But what about a regression analysis with the week of the season and indoor/outdoor? Hoodie options are clearly correlated with weather.

Flame-retardant noose (i.e., the noose won't break if you hang and burn yourself to death): Bud Light, bottom-shelf tequila, and Tabasco sauce. It's like a honey badger attacking the back of your throat. This drink is an annual tradition with a group of friends, and everyone has a different component they hate most.

If these are new to you, then your grocery store of choice is apparently not the "Walmart Neighborhood Market."

So in middle school I was at a summer camp at a university, and the cafeteria had Surge. I and some other kids—because we were punks—mixed milk and salt into glasses of Surge. The mixture foamed aggressively, and the foam solidified. It held a fork upright.

"Ohthisisfuni'llhaveanother."

When a person's thoughts wander, it's not really random; the unconscious is going to have some say. Some people are creative and have a generally positive view of themselves, and their thoughts will wander in a whimsical, entertaining direction. But some people have a sense of basic shame, and their minds wander to…

"... if they like to BE cats ..." Kesha is definitely a furry. Half her videos feature people dressed in animal costumes.

Having a particularly loyal fanbase means that management faces less pressure to actually win. If you truly love your team and want to help it win, then let it go.

The likelihood of unintelligent responses is exactly why reporters ask female celebrities about feminism.

Comedy Central used to have a panel show in that timeslot: Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. It sucked. I hope Wilmore can do better than that.

Porn is legal in not just most places but in all places (in the US) because it counts as speech under the First Amendment.