My husband died. I moved on eventually. Some British nobleman tried wooing me. I fell for him. We boned in a Liverpool hotel. He asked me to marry him. I said no, and then cut my hair short.

My wife died last year at age 35. (Bear with me, totally not trolling for sympathy.)

I just laughed so hard at that my dog came into the room to investigate.

Ignorant question... what is white out sex?

Oh man, I don't have a story, but I've been waiting for this all morning!

I cannot love her more. Seriously, she is such a BAMF.

I understand Ruth, I get sleepy when I drink wine too.

and again. I just love her so much. this makes me love her even more.

What a baller thing to admit. Zero fucks given.

There will never be a post about notorious RBG where this picture is not appropriate.

BAHAHAHAHA! Fantastic. Yeah, I'd be thinking at least thrice before throwing an elbow at her US Majesty.

drinking game for SOTU next year?

I <3 her so much I want her to be my 2nd mom. Please?

MAKE THIS DIE.

The only things you should be drinking with pizza are beer or root beer.

Sorry, but as someone who takes lactaid pills to have dairy, you are wrong. Milk by itself is awful.

My stomach every time I drink a glass of milk.

Hooray!

So proud that we have someone who is both a doctor and a judge on staff.

"Jon Stewart Should Run For Office!"