Ha, I snarfed when I read this.

Just make sure you "forget" to flush whenever you visit a Flying J. Street justice.

Clevelander here. My everything is exploding.

Good God, excellent.

You've done a fine service here.

Bravo. Just bravo, Deadspin.

Cleveland is riding high right now. How about the Cleve?

Yep. I know your feel. Here in Chicago, it's flat as a pancake. We have to get out to the 'burbs for any terrain. The biggest climb in town is the Damen Ave. bridge.

I see what you did there.

Excellent article. More please.

Eh, the last 5 km of each stage tends to be the most exciting. Pushing a gas pedal harder isn't exactly as impressive as turning yourself inside out for a sprint finish. It's chess at 40 mph.

I'd enjoy listening to Phil Liggett's commentary of you pushing the huge rock.

After eating at the Lafayette Coney Island downtown while visiting two weeks ago, I'm OK with "wonderful" as an adjective to describe Detroit.

You win. Nailed it.

You think that's cool?

As someone who eats many burritos each week in all meal iterations (breakfast, lunch/dinner, drunk 4th meal), I enjoyed reading this. I'd say 1 out of every 20 burritos I eat is one from Chipotle out of convenience. It's rare I eat at Qdoba, but I'd say their food is pretty unobjectionable. Chipotle does have the edge…

Yes. Leap, and the net will appear.

I put a Nitto Albatross bar on my Long Haul Trucker. Nice commuter.

Thanks. Not my finest moment. But I know the feel.

The only bar I've ever puked at was the Out-R-Inn in Columbus, Ohio, on one of their infamous "mug" nights (where you get dollar refills when you buy their plastic mug). The men's room at this dive is on the second floor.