Yah I don’t get why people keep ripping on Calvin in this. So Taylor cheats on him, and HE is the bad guy? And how many crappy songs about cheating ex’s have been written by women where we were not critical?

I remember seeing a stat mot long after Tamir Rice’s murder that 83% of police brutality complaints were filed against 6% of the cops.

I am a Hetero Male. I have sex with women. I ONLY have sex with women. I have a beard. I drive a Truck. I have Hair On My Chest, because it’s MANLY. I don’t find other men’s asses attractive at all. Even if they’re perfectly round and have that little dip on the side where it goes in.

Ah. That makes some sort of sense. I was trying to make it into a grocery list: Pickles, Cheetos, Hummus.

I have no idea what that is but I’m glad your excited about it.

“Motherfucker had a cannon on his shoulder. Just like me, Kenny Fucking Powers!”

No it’s someone from Jalopnick

Get it?!

So you’re saying that the Stig is basically the Dread Pirate Roberts? I can get behind that.

That’s a really unflattering picture of Mr. Dixon. Here, let me help:

One coworker, whom I now hate more than ever, revealed that he just lies there and thinks “about how chill and generally good [his] life is.”

First draft:

No joke I asked for “hard water” once when I was around 20 weeks. When I got a blank stare I said, “WATER. BUT HARD. YOU KNOW? WITH CORNERS?”

Uhhhhhh. Sounds like he knows whats up.

You know why, right?

counterpoint: do not stop.

Never.

“I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life.” - Mitch Hedberg

We’re getting close to the Redbirds being sub-.500 again. These are exciting times!

Not only are the Cardinals in last place, but they’re winless in the month of April. Trash.