I got a little drunky on Saturday and ordered EIGHT pink Christmas trees online. In various shades of pink, such as "cupcake". And not the tabletop ones, I really went for it. I ordered a Christmas Forest.

Why is its mouth open like that?? It would be way less creepy if it didn't look like it unhinged its jaw to eat somebody.

If teenagers insist on having sex, let's make sure they feel guilty and ashamed and have issues (or unwanted children) which will ruin sex for them forever. That'll learn 'em!

Nice conversation I had with a fella on the street this morning:

I am so fucking tired of men telling women that women's stories and experiences don't matter, that we're over-sensitive and over-reacting and we OWE it to men to 'give them a chance'. Fuck that. Your "friendly" comment/gesture/conversation does not take precidence (spelling, sorry) over my own perceived safety. And…

What will happen is:

My friend had a man openly masturbating, facing her, for a half hour bus ride. She was too afraid/uncomfortable to say anything (no one was stopping him and she would be the petite one in a group of woodland sprites, without any aid she felt helpless) and the car was too full for her to move. WHY IS THIS SHIT EVEN A…

I can't believe nobody else said anything. That's so awful, on so many different accounts. I'm sorry that happened to you. :(

Be the change you wish to see in the world. (Check for cameras first.)

OMG, that is so fucked up. It reminds me of the time I was riding the Paris metro to work early one morning and this dude sat next to me and asked me out for breakfast. I was like "umm no, it's 6am and I really just want to sit here in my pre-caffeinated grumpy haze." He got more and more agitated, started pacing…

IDK, I mean, I'm not a woman but if I were just riding the subway by myself and some guy physically assaulted me because he found me attractive, I'd be flattered. I dunno why women gotta make such a big deal about a guy thinking they're pretty and then violently attacking them for it. It's a compliment, ladies!

I am waiting for all the menz that dash in for every one of this articles: But how else am I supposed to meet women? I'm just being nice, saying hi. Why do you women have to be such tight-ass bitches? Why didn't she just talk to him - then he wouldn't have attacked her! She should just have been nice!

I also think this is like the absolute perfect example for how men can comment and participate in feminism, you know besides believing that women deserve equal treatment and living your life in a way to ensure that happens. Too often do men enter feminist spheres and end up trying to dominate the conversation and…

I just think Terry Crews is the most delightful person, and that opinion is compounded every time I watch him in an interview. I even love the way they initially cast him in Brooklyn 99, which is as a sergeant who has to stop working in the field for a while because he gets panic attacks at the thought of dying and…

As if I needed another reason to love Terry Crews.

Totally copying Apple's business model.

This is okay, but I liked last year's better. For Black Friday, they still sold Cards Against Humanity, but for $5 more than usual.

Are you saying it's Schrödinger's Poop?

Five minutes in I need beer and to calmly pet a dog.