Delivering a “Maybe” verdict is cheating. You couldn’t even make it through a whole column without cheating. It’s official...Riley MacLeod is a cheating cheater.

Nah. He was touching her inappropriately repeatedly. It’s not on the victim to make sure they choose what the perpetrator decides is the “appropriate response.” Kid deserved to take a shot in the balls.

Ultimecia is the only choice.

She was named after Zelda Fitzgerald, the wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald who wrote The Great Gatsby.

I never said anything about sexual assault.

Sure bud. Whatever makes you feel good.

Akin to rape, no? Akin to assault and battery or domestic abuse? Assuming it’s not in self defense, of course.

Yeah, that’s the alarm bell for me. It’s one thing to let him around as a hanger on. It’s another to refuse to acknowledge the relationship to him.

He also wants Deadspin to stop fucking that chicken. Or any other kinds of birds I guess.

Now if you don’t like something, you’re “unnecessarily critical.” Okay.

I mean, he’s not trashing his looks. In fact, he calls him handsome! He’s saying the movies he’s in aren’t that good. Sounds like a perfectly valid opinion to me. But I’m glad insulting people on the internet is making you feel better!

Here’s another tool who doesn’t know the meaning of words. “Hipster” isn’t a stand in for “things I don’t personally like.”

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Well, that’s a crock of shit. For Star Wars especially. You’re going to try to tell me that Episode VII would have made a dime less based on Carrie Fisher’s weight? Bullshit. “Pretty vocal” and a significant portion are two very different things. We give way to much credence to people who like to bitch and moan on the…

You’re thinking of Ma$e.

Fuck. George Lucas really is the worst.

This is fucking blasphemy. You’re a god damn heathen!

Which game’s quality surprised you the most in 2016? Positive or negative.

Hmm... maybe I’ll give it a shot. While cRPGs aren’t my favorite type of combat I still enjoyed Baldur’s Gate 1/2, Icewind Dale 1/2, etc. I just found myself not caring about the plot at all for the 10 or so hours I played of Pillars.

I actually just hang from the ceiling in one of those sex swings for all of my gaming needs.