Not as classic as the requisite Beetle ad but I vote Abarth FTW

I think it's awesome, personally. It's not fast and it is front wheel drive but it is FUN to drive. It's inexpensive but still well equipped and the inside is actually a nice place to be. Plus, try being unhappy in a Fiat. You can't!

Yeah, no. Just... no. For just a little bit more you can get a Fiat 500 which isn't "truly, profoundly terrible." It's actually a fun car to drive despite being inexpensive rather than because of it.

lol no it wasn't, it was BMW's way of saying "Hey it's still kind of like a real Mini (just really really ridiculously overpriced)!"

Yep, I can't wait to go back and do it again, hopefully next year!

The best road is one that isn't connected to any other roads. Closed off, maybe with some space to park between sessions and work on your car. Everyone would drive in the same direction and be allowed to go as fast as they're able, safely. This road is generally called "a racetrack" and it's a pretty awesome place…

I'll give it a shot. I'm thinking I need a name like "imfasterinarealcar" or "imfreeforspa2014"

It's been around in the motorcycle world for YEARS. I ALMOST bought an A-Style helmet while I was in Europe last summer but I got Fiat helmet instead. Still kicking myself for not getting both. You say it's the worst, I say it's the best!

Okay just bought a PS3 and GT5. My plan is to quit my job and lock myself into my room playing it until they offer me a seat. That's how that's supposed to work, right?

I love my car because it got me into cars! I was never much of a car guy but as soon as I got my Abarth I was going to SCCA autocross events, car shows and I've got my first trackday at Barber next month. I've met a ton of awesome people all over the country, even got a job at the dealership I bough it at, and I…

Ehhh.... Is it too late to write in and request he be replaced by Brian Johnson?!?!?

Greatest article I've ever read in my life.

I'm okay with anyone that drives a Fiat as long as it isn't pink or has lashes. And if we're talking about a dude in a Fiat, we can't be friends if it's an automatic.

Excellent list but I still maintain a short throw shifter is the cheapest mod that will be a noticeable improvement EVERY time you drive your car

Okay! Anyway, moving on...

As a Fiat salesman, I love it. It'll clearly be way too expensive and not nearly fast enough for the price tag. Thanks MINI!

Ahh engine technology. Old vs new. Corvette vs Ferrari? Okay, why not.

Well good to know, thank you for explaining it so well!

Whoah whoah whoah, we can't use hyperbole on Jalopnik??? There goes the site, then.

And unfortunately I have had to drive that thing about a half dozen times just to fix it. First, one of the brake pins froze up on the right rear, clamping the caliper down hard enough to destroy the pads and rotor by the time he got home. Then the gas door release quit working. Then it developed a current draw…