*Runs for the scale*

I think this should just be a new vacuum head, not a whole thing. I already have a Dyson, so I don't need a new one, just a fuzzy attachment that fits the one I have.

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to ESPN

This is a good time to direct y'all to my favorite tweet:

Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

I mean, we all cheered for this, right?

Okay, I was WAAAAAAAAAAY too emotionally invested in The Avengers movie... Like, my friends made fun of me. A lot. So, this scene really, REALLY made me happy....

You know what else is overrated? Ice cream, and cookies, and chocolate, and chocolate cookie ice cream, and sex with women, and men, and sex with women and men while eating chocolate cookie ice cream. Everyone likes them for BS reasons.

Jesus, can they just fuck and get it over with?

A computer and a reliable what? A COMPUTER AND A RELIABLE WHAT? I WANT TO MAKE THIS MONEY! WHAT DO I NEED DAMNIT!?

Here's a movie line for ya ... "Lighten up, Francis!"

Remember kids, you can't spell "Tony Dungy is a close-minded homophobe, a two-faced situational liar, and a conveniently pious hypocrite" without "Tony Dungy."

Plus he is the only character more annoying that Piper on OITNB.

LeBron James Saves Cleveland Sports Illustrated

In an office somewhere in Miami, Pat Riley's trembling hand moves his mouse forward, to the font drop-down, and selects "Comic Sans"

I'd pay to see Bill Belichick doing this.

Here's the Amazon link to all of its available formats: http://smile.amazon.com/Unbroken-World…

This is a feature, not a bug. It would be impossible for me to care about every single child on the planet with the intensity that I care about my own children and every woman on the planet as much as I care for my own wife without simultaneously neglecting my own children or my wife and their well-being, which is…