If it doesn’t happen already, something cute and fuzzy should have to die any time the “only 10 mins of action in 3 hour time frame” hot take is vomited out of somebody’s face hole.

All of those benefits sound like negatives.

Let’s brainstorm some possibilities:...

Well researched. Well written. If your out of the job next week you should send this to Algaezeera. They’d love it.

Which then makes you sound even more exclusive, which then brings more people to you asking if you "party". You then try to scare them off with promises of sheetcake and bounce houses, but they just think you are so hip and ahead of them, they want you even more. Eventually you end up running an empire of night clubs…

your potential employer is going to ask what you’ve been doing since college, and you’re going to want an answer better than “eating cereal and watching my parents’ TV at 2PM”.

Hawaiian bread rolls. Period.

Heck yeah. So much so, that they’re only allowed to do it until the black marks on the floating lanes.

No, but when you have seven sentences in a row that are almost identical, it is.

I’m not sure what kind of answer “Drowning” was looking for asking someone relationship advice who 1)does not share the same faith convictions or 2)ascribes to a “whatever feels good/works for you philosophy” or 3) isn’t even a doctor.

am not furby, am friend.

I guess you could say that the death line-up’s play on the court in Game 7 was

I’ve started referring to myself as “we” when the pizza guy comes.

Oh, I thought this was going to be about ordering enough food to feed 4 people and then yelling to your imaginary family “Food’s here!” so that the delivery guy doesn’t think you’re a loser ordering a single serving of orange chicken on a Friday night.

Math is not inherently racist, though it can be used for racist purposes.

Yeah, you can fuck right off.

This is bad kinja. ESPN or SB Nation was 2 exits back.

Kind of like those nine times they got exposed against healthy teams in the regular season, eh? Thank goodness the other 73 games were against injury-ravaged teams such as the Little Sisters of the Poor and Johnson Elementary or they'd never have that record.

Maybe I’m reading that joke different than everyone else, but I thought the punchline of that joke is specifically because it is such a sharp, unambiguous, clear signal of his friends’ willful stupidity and obliviousness (because they are using the word faggot) immediately after his half-assed defense of his friends.…

Nevermind. Explained.