My heart grew 3 sizes. Congrats to ‘em.

Awwwww.... 2018 is starting out nice. Yes, I am deliberately blocking out all of D. Trump’s tweets so far. On my doctor’s orders.

It’s really odd that multiple outlets refer to that poor child as having been murdered. If there is but one barely bright spot in the whole sad tale it’s that she lived.

*Attempted murder-the child they stabbed thankfully survived but seems to still be traumatized.

I (an American) live in the U.K. and we had some German neighbors after the election who gave my partner a long lecture about Hitler’s rise to power.

They cooked the heck out of it. By definition, not sashimi either.

Yep, the sushi is 90% sushi rice and 10% the cut of fish.

It’s. Not. Sushi. If. There’s. No. Seasoned. Rice.

Jesus Christ! Do you people want to know how bad this makes America look in the eyes of the rest of the World? I’m a Brazilian. At this very moment, the president here is an incompetent, corrupt, and criminal plutocrat. Yet, when I read that tweet, my first thought was “Well, at least...”.

No. Sushi and croissants are two very delicious things that should never ever meet. Can we please just cancel all these weird food hybrids? Most of them are trash.

I hate 2018 already.

Bringing W into this just makes “at least he spelled nuclear right” the bleakest silver lining ever.

Tan suit. Don’t forget that.

*crosses fingers* please be piss tape.

Obama ordered a burger with Dijon once so they’re both bad if you think about it.

#nailedit

I sometimes find it fun to consider how everyone would have reacted if Obama fired off a tweet like that. Or W even. And then I cry at what the world has become and hope when the nuclear war starts they drop one nearby and it’s over before I or my family knows it has started.

Whatever he just found out Mueller has must be amazing. He does have a pattern of creating tweet freakouts when stuff he wants to be unnoticed is about to drop. The more he wants us to LOOK OVER THERE the more outlandish and lurid his tweet spasms get.

No, he can’t. His belly is too large.

It’s SO clearly about penile inadequacy that one would almost think even Trump could see it at this point.