i’d just dump food and drinks on them. repeatedly. then smile bigly and simper OOPS each time. maybe give them a paper napkin or something.

also nails:

i don’t do it all the time but, sometimes, when people tell me to smile and cheer up, i look down and then, slowly, look up at them with the biggest, dopiest, most obviously insincere and shit-eating grin i can plaster on my face... and then i just hold it and stare at them until they walk away.

yeah, the remedy for this seems fairly straight-forward: round up three or four wrenchers, run for the county board or whoever rammed these idiotic laws through, get elected and change the law to something reasonable.

i dunno. the only gas station around us that serves made-to-order sandwiches is the Sheetz chain and they can be pretty hit or miss, not just in terms of the quality but even getting your order right - one time i ordered a brat with the carmelized onions and brown mustard and i did get a brat in the bag my wife picked…

stupid kinja won’t let me star your comment, so let this serve as my “thumbs up!” of agreement and affirmation.

you know the shithead just wants an opportunity to hop in and drive a tank around, preferably over a car or through a wall or something bitchin’ like that.

for me, Rob Thomas earned a lifetime pass simply on the basis of his first go-round with CUPID, which was probably one of the finest cancelled too-soon shows, ever.

yeah, i’ve found that management at Subway can be really hit or miss. in our area, there are a handful of absentee owners who are basically just out-of-state investors and no one has ever talked to them. then, there’s one dude who owns something like 3/4 of all the rest of the local joints and while he rotates from…

believe it or not, there are parts of the country where the level of choice is rather limited. i’m also married to a vegetarian and Subway, for all its faults, is one of the few places where you can always get a fairly satisfying vegetarian meal that isn’t just french fries and ketchup. i’m not saying it’s the only…

i’m down to patronizing only a single remaining Subway franchise in our area and it, unfortunately, does not include the location two blocks from our house. whether it’s just screwing up orders, shitty rude service or having been served poor quality (like, stupidly stale bread - i mean, crunchy) sandwiches time and…

it wouldn’t bother me, but that’s because i’m not actually vegetarian - my wife is. and she’ll eat eggs in stuff but neither of us really like the taste or texture of eggs very much on their own - closest we’ll come is the occasional quiche or frittata that basically just uses a couple leftover eggs as a binder for a…

i don’t know what the proper Mexican nut would be but i’d definitely need some more nuts in there - they might not fit precisely with the theme, but i think peanuts, pecans and maybe some garlic almonds would be great in this.

a panger, for sure - french onion and gazpachu are home runs and i was a little surprised not to see anyone go with chilaquiles after the recent profile on them - i made a quickie version the other night and they turned out great, although next time i’m probably going to adulterate them with some fresh corn and…

so here’s what i want to know: if they’re showing spidey shaking hands with mysterio sans mask, does that mean peter’s identity is just totally out in the open now? fury knows, obviously, his buddy ned knows, aunt may knows, happy hogan knows, pepper potts knows... i liked it when his sorta-girlfriend’s crazy…

not that i expect to be persuaded but can anyone explain what, exactly, makes a bottle of whiskey worth $1500? i’ve bought cars that cost less than that. i mean, at the end of the day, it’s all about perception and perceived value and scarcity and all that typical capitalist self-justification... but there must be…

sorry about your glasseware kate, but i gotcha beat: i lost everything kitchen-related the summer i lived with a couple of rural dudes while in college. one of them, who is now a dentist (which i mention simply to illustrate that, by rural, i don’t mean “dumb”, ‘cause he got grades good enough to qualify for medical…

yours looks better but i have to say, the idea of an apricot-mustard glaze on this type of preparation sounds pretty amazing.

so is topping this with cabbage and carrot and the mayo-chup supposed to be, like, kinda-sorta adding coleslaw to it?

fuck is up with this redesign? where is the link to the goddamned Takeout?!