YOU think his priorities are out of whack. He clearly didn't.

Pull the kind of shit you pulled with Misty Day in season 3 and I swear American Horror Story I WILL CUT YOU.

You sound like an absolute joy to be around.

I am all for the humane society and caring for our pets/animals, as long as no one actually provides any money to do so.

I feel sick. Just, that's all I have. Every life lost is sad, but how doubly tragic that so many of these people had so much yet to contribute to saving so many, many others.

They're not reading my fan fiction role play, right? RIGHT?

Bill Maher is an asshole. I remember last year when he told us Bostonians to stop being such whiners about our city being bombed. I mean only 4 people lost their lives, including an 8 year old, and only like a couple dozen people were permanently disabled. NBD.

I'm kinda glad he's a piece of shit human, because he has one of those faces I just want to punch and punch until I can't punch anymore. I was going to feel that way anyway, so it's kind of nice to know it's justified.

Doesn't his claim that he has rape babies on his staff disprove the whole no pregnancy by rape thing right there?

I just went through my geneology PDF to see if I was distantly related to this fuck. I am. :(

The manager also told her to "just switch shirts" to hide the vomit stains.

"I never intended for anybody to be hurt," she said. "I'm not a bad person. I don't have it in me to hurt anyone."

Can we like, just not with this? Can there not being a show justifying to all the Elliot Richards out there in the world, that the state of their virginity is actually a big deal that the rest of the world does/should care about. Have we really run out of things to make dumb tv shows about? I can't with this.

You know, it's very easy to say we shouldn't be obsessed with virgins but if you know of another kind of blood with which to summon our dark lord upon the earth...I'm all ears.

I'm only obsessed with virgins because I need their blood for my home-made, age-defying serum. It also includes seaweed, coconut oil, rose and geranium essential oils. The virgin blood, though, that's what really keeps you young looking without botox.

Nothing can prepare you for how underwhelming your first time is.

Because: