She didn’t complain when her pussy was grabbed.

Now that this story is public, he’ll never ketchup in the polls.

Never a bad time to remember Cardale Jones’ tweets

Don’t watch the NFL if you can’t stomach graphic violence.

Gosh, if it wasn’t written by the founding fathers, it can’t be something we agree with. After all, the founding fathers were Ordained by God in All Words Spoken right?

This is the Carolina Panthers of jokes. It sucks, but people still think its a winner.

Leroy Hoard who had an all-time fat back quote: “If you need one yard, I’ll get you three. If you need five yards, I’ll get you three.”

Fuck Merril Hoge.

Often hinted at but never confirmed, there are cults west of Route 81 in Virginia that worship beast of prey that do not have teeth or beaks. In honor of such beasts, members of the cults remove all their teeth, and refer to themselves as the Gummies. Recently, the Pulaski Yankees ran a Gummy Bear promotion, which was…

FWIW: his Mom Julie retweeted the tweet about the hammy.

Foxtrot Alpha, dickface.

Don’t worry, buddy, even if your one of your arms is occupied on the sideline with a crutch, we’ve still employed the latest technology to help you do your job.

You dont really believe that.

Car prices and repair costs are what they are. Nobody is “raping” anybody, and they aren’t “overpriced." If you think it’s easy to make a fortune selling or repairing cars, I suggest you go into those lines of work.

So... a city with a $4 billion revenue base is being asked by a corporation that made $13 billion last year to pay to host its private event to be televised on a network owned by a corporation that made $53 billion last year. Fantastic.

Is there a way that you can replace the author photo with of those cool holographic pics from the 90s? So when when we move the book, we see something like this:

I’ll continue solving this problem by being too poor and uninfluential to bother hacking.

Non-legal advice: Do not behave in such a way that it becomes necessary for you to debate the extent to which you showed a little girl your dick.

You need more joy in your life.

I think it just shows how difficult it is to win a championship in North American sports for even the best teams because of the playoff structures. As a Phillies fan, I can say without hesitating that the 2008 team that won the World Series was, like, 50% worse than the 2011 team that lost in the NLDS.