I'm confused. Don't most Marvel movies already count as '80s action movies?

Getting excited about Marvel movies is kind of like getting excited about going through the McDonald's drive-thru.

Aw, hit a bit too close to home?

What if I told you that I'll also throw in some bland cinematography, rehashed plot lines, superficial conflict, and dated pop culture references?

Marvel Phase 3: Contract Negotiations

Angelina Jolie is a director now, yes?

Yes, but Marvel Studios has the rights to old Disney songs, so there's that.

Time-out. Flag that.

So in addition to creating the comedy-horror genre, Ryan Murphy is also going to create a time-machine allowing him to travel back to a time when the comedy-horror genre didn't yet exist?

Makes sense, since Mamoa will be stuck in Detroit filming DC movies from now until eternity.

Won't somebody please think of the sixty-year-old white men?

Meh, we'll all just watch this when it's released on Netflix like we were going to do in the first place.

Yes, but he's living a nice life with his girlfriend in Moscow now. Just goes to show that happy endings are possible, even in a repressive surveillance state like Russia, as long as you are straight and don't mind towing the Putin line. A true civil liberty success story! Huzzah.

"The movie concludes with Snowden learning of a revelation that even he finds shocking."

You're going to hear me snore.

First we give gay people the right to marriage and now this… It's a slippery slope.

The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret… in Hell.

Iron Cross Man

Time is a flat circle, unless you replace Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson, and Cary Fukunaga with Colin Farrell, Vince Vaughn, and Justin Lin, and then time repeats itself, first as tragedy and then as farce.

A satirical look at American war that culminates in a football game?