And to think Jodie Foster turned a "The Accused" trilogy because it seemed implausible.

I wonder if he faces Mecca while he's smoking rock. I bet he just looks out the windows a lot.

• Bag head fan was questioned, then released on his own recognizance.

So they would be stealing a franchise, unless the owners live in Seattle, right? It's impossible to steal shit you own.

I don't like the Patriots, but I played in the same high school division against Welker. I won't lie to you folks, it's been hard this years waking up on Sunday and playing PS3 football. I have to crack a few Budweisers just to get the pain of my right thumb controlled. Rheumatoid Arthritis got me down, but I don't…

I want to attach a rider to this Super Bowl. 30 million for the perverted arts.

I think they look more like obstetricians more than anything else.

How about Klu Klux Clam?

I work at a railroad and have read a few incident reports. It's like a hot knife through butter. Most people get backed over by train because they're switching and not paying attention.

Jeff: If you're eating Dates in the middle east, ALWAYS have John Rhys-Davies spot for you.

They were bikers Mark Cuban gave beer to so they would protect his players. Tragically, one of them stabbed West after he allegedly pulled a gun.

They're saving these kids a ton of heartache. I lost a girlfriend in pre-school when I wouldn't give up "The Life". A half drunk bottle of Mott's, Extra Strength Children's Tylenol and a worn out tape of Kidz Bop are your only solace on on the road, some nights you look into the horizon and hope that for once, when…

Big deal, "Bad As I Wanna Be" has finally got the CDC close to tracking down"Patient Zero".

HIRE THIS MAN.

I was in an antique store at closing time on Christmas Eve many years ago and bought a matching hand mirror and brush for my girlfriend, now wife, who really loved them. It was a real Hail Mary because I didn't really know her, but reading your problem, I think maybe you should aim for the heart, go all out and buy…

In an attempt to court boomers, MNF announced today it was bringing in Ringo Starr to replace Sutcliffe.

At the Geffen records annual picnic, when the starting flag football WR went down, Neil Young didn't have to tell anybody his position on Cortisone.

It was weird when he was listed out because of "Right Nostril" on the injury report.

Tebow reveled today his line will betray him 3 times Sunday.

Roethlisberger wrote "Hash Browns".