I used to work for a direct to consumer seller of (non-auto) parts, and one of the best things we did was to dump FedEx Smartpost. It’s shite! Their claim rate, at the time, was 4%, compared to 2% in the rest of the industry (including FedEx and USPS by themselves); that doesn’t even address the fact that it takes…

Dear Former Overlords:

This is now the case. Even in my impoverished area with few rust issues (Southwest), you need to lay down at least $10K to get anything reliable, and even that’s a crapshoot (that bracket is infested with 2011 Cruzes)

Re: Word Nerd: according to latest stats, nearly half the population of our fair state of NM is illiterate. Shaddap and vote, or volunteer to tutor local children. Ya nerd.

On Thursday, the CEO and publisher of the National Enquirer, David Pecker

This is clearly the prequel to  Ow! My Balls! 

Personally, I’m a kingdomist. Fucking plants, man. Fucking plants. Looking all green and shit, chasing Mark E Mark all over the damn fields like they own the joint...they better watch their asses, or they’ll all end up at the Ruby Tuesday’s salad bar!

Mid-90's full size pickup, if you can find one from the southwest (don’t buy a Detroit native truck lest the tin worm plague you).  There’s very little more “American” than that. 

Try The Historian - came out a few years back, is sort of a quasi-sequel to Dracula, and is written as correspondence (just like the original).  That way it’s not too “audiobook-y”, as there’s no narrator.

Domestic: Fly JetBlue, buy the bigger coach seat (SO worth the hundo).

Wouldn’t that make the second one Chick-Fil-B?

My Reliability Priority (based on many mistakes and a few successes):

Even simpler: I just leave the pot there on the counter, and drink the other half the next day either iced or re-heated. It won’t go moldy in just one day.

Oma can accomplish the same thing with the look.  #thereisnospoon

As a person without children, I don’t much have a horse in this race

That’s like some Jason Statham-in-Transporter level shit. Well played!

I can tell these people are fucking idiots, as well as evil. Is it somehow easier to work for ICE than for other agencies or something?

I was holding two frozen burger patties in my left hand (they were stuck together). Since all my butter knives were dirty, I reached for a long, flat object to pry the patties apart, and found my wife’s CHISEL was within easy grabbing distance.

Stick a tow bar on the front of it, gut it, and you have yourself a cheap covered trailer or camper.

I’ve never found evidence of any actual spices at Chipotle, so he should be OK.