Yogurt takes about 5 minutes of your time and 10 hours of the instant pot’s. 

Dude, you’ve got half a decade before you get to have the kind of fun you’re thinking about. There’s a whole lot of shit before you even get close to thinking about using the term “console” regarding anything other that whatever is making your partner cry at the moment (and it will be everything).

The virginity is strong with this one

Fuck this guy. He drove a car 100 mph on a public street and is lucky he didn’t kill anyone else. And now he’s raped some girls? Because that’s what it is, rape.

I’ve been looking for the perfect gift to give my parents for Christmas, 2007, looks like I’ve found it!

I’ve been looking for the perfect gift to give my parents for Christmas, 2007, looks like I’ve found it!

Great, another game launcher to go with Steam, Ubiplay, GoG, Origin, etc. Hard pass.

Maybe? I’m not sure.

I don’t think you understand how twitter, kinja or really, any of this works.

I like how you confused “she was wrong” with “she was right and I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

The other vehicle didn’t stop, the cops weren’t too close, they were cross traffic.

If I get crickets from a “what’s your favorite thing on the menu” I’m leaving. At least muster the energy to lie to me about SOMETHING you’re trying to sell.

My takeaway from your brain dump is that there’s a lot of potential synergy between our respective goal-orientations and I think a exploring collaborative partnership could be deeply impactful at moving the needle.

You know, if you’re nailed to the cross, you can’t see how ugly it looks....

Now I want to put a T of baking soda in my next batch of chicken salad just to see what happens...

Fuck man, some days you just distill it down to its bare essence and it’s ugly as fuck but beautiful for how you did it.

Your statement left me in tears, angry and fearful. And then I read what some people said about dearest Meghan and that just confirmed that my suffering as a white person in 2018 is the greatest suffering of anyone ever. Ever.

Would a less sexualized DOA have more or less realistic boob/butt physics?

No, they are fees used to pay the delivery drivers minimum wage, which servers do not earn and are thus tipped.

Until 10 seconds ago I was still searching for my dream job but you, sir or madam, have found it.

Love a dad who calls his son brother. Now if I could just get mine to take the mouse out of his mouth....