Always remember to bring an extra projectile filled will piss or shit because people, much like BTs, do not respond well to being doused in excrement and we all run into those awkward social situations where we need a quick getaway.

Recycling? I gave up on that when I saw the same truck picked up the trash and recycling bins at the same time.

Cute Animals, But The Management Sucks

I’m not sure why the letter writer brushes off the idea of seeing a child psychologist. If I were in their shoes, this is an option I would be seriously considering, and likely one I would be drawn to. I would ask my pediatrician to recommend someone, and at least give it a shot.

Press F to Deadspin Forever.

“When buying home furniture for guests to sit in, buy something somewhat uncomfortable so they won’t want to stay too long,” 

Here’s a great Unethical Life Pro Tip: Since the cowards at G/O Media have suspended comments at Deadspin, come on over to Lifehacker to tell Jim Spanfeller what a horrible piece of shit he is. Fuck you, Jim, you spineless waste of space!

I’m just here to tell Jim Spanfeller, Paul Maidment and the rest of the cowards to get fucked.

I’ve got one I call “Old Gray Thing” that I always forget to post. It was a paranormal encounter but I’m still not sure what exactly it was, and I’ve always been curious if anyone else has seen one too. I’m doxxing myself if anyone I know reads this, but here goes nothing...

I really liked Untitled. Truly a one-of-a-kind story.

Where is the one about a private equity firm that takes over suite of websites and fucks it all to hell?

I cannot express to you how fucking delighted I am by a legitimate ghost story about the motherfucking Noid.

Truly the MPDG of stories.

Seriously. That and that humblebrag ass thrift store one. Jesus. “So the fry cook and I saunter over to the 1950's garage and the gentleman confesses to the murder. Quite an odd morning I suppose, but what a great haul!”

And there’s no possible way that accident could have taken down a telephone pole, especially if that photo is from the accident. Those things are INCREDIBLY strong and even if you smashed into one head on at full speed and destroyed your car entirely, it wouldn’t knock it down. So I’m gonna call fake on that one for…

The scariest thing about the ouija board story is that a Chick Tract gained enough sentience to write it!

It definitely will. I think this is his first non-controlled public appearance since becoming President, likely to avoid this exact scenario. This will play 24/7 on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News. Dude is gonna be pissed.

If it’s aiming for the realism of war, the part where you abandon the rebels to be ethnically cleansed should be interesting.

I was struggling with this as well. “Voting with my wallet” doesn’t do much when the last Blizzard product I bought was Overwatch at launch, but I can vote with my bandwidth, so to speak. If player population and lootbox sales are low for the Halloween event, maybe that will at least give them pause.