I’m sorry, what?!

Thank you for understanding the awesomeness of peaches!

Oh come on. He will never top, “I swallowed a bug” in Good Will Hunting.

This comment is life!

Is it Thursday yet?

Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh.

Wow, just wow.

Seriously, this. Thank you.

Whaaaa????

Ooh ooh, is it you?

Also those shoes, no thank you!

Thought it totally worked on Negga and not at all on Goodwin but can’t quite figure out whyyyyy!

She was stupid AND selfish enough to stay with Kris freaking Kardashian for more than twenty years, nothing should be off the table when it comes to Caitlyn’s possible depths of idiocy.

derp!

Planned our wedding back in 2002. Called a local flower shop to discuss, was asked what my colors were. Told him, ‘It’s not really that kind of wedding.’ and was told to, ‘call back when you’re serious about this!’ before he hung up on me!

Me too and i’m almost 46!

TIL i can laugh AND gag at the same time!!!

Staple?

I used to babysit for a family who had a parrot. The dad had gone to the A&P for milk and came home with milk and the parrot. “Some guy was selling him for just $50 outside the store!” His wife responded, “Yeah, because his wife said ‘don’t come home until you ditch the bird’” :D