If I learned anything about Oregon as a kid, it’s that it’s not over until someone dies of dysentery.

#1 and 2 should have both been Bo Jackson.

Chef: MY MOM

I fucking hate Jimmy Fallon but shit, that was a semi decent response from a genuine dungbeetle.

He’s been playing in the Eastern Conference all along?

GOOD LUCK!?!?!?! That feckless cunt

Give the people what they want:

This is why people hate soccer.

The irony of her dining at a “Mexican” restaurant is mind-blowing.

It looks like an old streamline train engine:

And yet, ICE isn’t lifting a goddam finger to separate these parents from their kids.

As long as all of the punches were thrown underhand, no rules were broken.

This is the soccer equivalent of a hockey player coming out of the penalty box and scoring on a breakaway and I love it.

And it’s not even Jeffrey. It’s *Jefferson.* As in Davis, whom I imagine he greatly admires. He can fuck right off. As can Laura “Seig Heil” Ingraham.

Needing to finesse your language so that you’re arguing semantics of whether you are or aren’t acting like the Nazis means that your policies are shit and that you’re a complete failure as a human being.

He’s not wrong about the poop thing.

Seeking asylum is not illegal

Fine. My comment: Mike Leach is a goddamn asshole.