The only think I find hard to believe is that the Donald Trump they claim they knew for 10 or so years was not the current guy.

Oh God, I just realized that with Trump in the White House, there’s a good chance that a sitting president got a golden shower there... Fuck...

The pineapple habanero is good too.

My kids ate brownies for breakfast today. I’m like....it’s pretty much a granola bar anyway. But most flavored yogurt is WAY too fucking sugary, even for me.

“YOU don’t have an expiration date...so why should we?”

“Yoplait: Yes, this is essentially candy that you can pretend is healthy, so just say ‘fuck it’ and reach for one in place of a Snickers”

“Yoplait: I mean fuck, at least you’re feeding them, right?”

Thanks to David and Brandon for making this weekend the greatest automotive experience of my life thus far. The Briarwood will always be the anchor of my future fleet of shit boxes and I owe it all to you guys.

You sir, are a class act. Not only did you drive 8 hour, fix the car and let him keep it. You paid him for the spare parts you took.

Nice story! I’m glad you got that young mans Jeep back up and running. I was a little disappointed you didn’t get to meet DavidTracyisaWanker though.

Good job man. Proud of you.

Seriously one of the best things I’ve read here in years. You deserve some brownie points for sure. See? There’s still good in the world!

Call the Midwife is the best. It’s like Sex in the City, but without the sex, just the friendships and interesting work!

I posted last week about being sober just over three months. I had a breakthrough at my meeting this week that was really awesome in how I realized how amazing it is that since I have accepted that I am an alcoholic and decided to seek help, I have thought about drinking but not had that insane need for it.

Men who are pro-life see women as subhuman, so, this is a big NOPE from me. I’m so over giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Nope? Deal breaker. No question. You know what you don’t need if you are trying to determine if you want an abortion? Someone guilting you.

I got my husband into Desperate Housewives and have noticed how much I truly, madly deeply miss that show. I have seriously flawed relationship with Gilmore Girls which I’ve been binge watching late night, but I mostly find them too cloying and too too (if you know what I mean) most other hours of the day. I was…

How does one get ungreyed exactly? I post semi regularly. I’m not super annoying and my gif game is above average. I’m a lesbian, so I’d rather not blow anyone. Hints? Tips?

The real story is these people actually found a Target employee who was helpful.

The fatality comes with the 7:00am text the next day: “Sweetie, do they still call it the walk of shame?”