Oh God, fuck this asshole. I wish a thousand chronic illnesses on him. A hundred thousand.

You can live a healthy life and still get cancer. Or MS or ALS, or several other diseases. Or, you know, get in a car accident.

To be clear, what Trump thinks Kim Jong Un has been so “smart” about is his having been handed North Korea when his father died (Trump thinks nepotism is actually a sign of skill on the part of the beneficiary of it....shocking) and having consolidated his power through political assassinations. Trump specifically…

I can picture Don and Kim Jr. building a fort in the oval office and eating paper plates of tater tots while talking about how girls are dumb.

Lets all be friends everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re a mass murderer, a white supremacist, a human rights abuser, or a strongman with a nuclear arsenal. This president wants to meet you and thinks he can get along with you....

Yeah, it would have been the end of my marriage if my husband voted Trump.

45 is what happens when you buy your kids degrees and careers. He is peak failing upwards.

Regarding Giselle... How the fuck do you stay married to someone who supports Trump? I almost broke up my with my boyfriend when we were having a “devil’s advocate” argument about him. Like, where is the respect? I can’t even fucking imagine. (I know, they are rich and beautiful, and have kids... Ugh) Don’t get it.

Dickerson gets credit not only for asking AND THEN FOLLOWING UP, but the way he asked. “But I’m asking you, because you don’t want it to be fake news. I want to hear it from President Trump” and “But I want to know your opinions. You’re the president of the United States” are such great lines that should appear in…

“It should be talked about.”

“Okay, let’s talk about it.”

“That’s enough. We’re done.”

Don’t use lean meat.

Honestly what makes this so laughable is the fact that all the data and knowledge on Climate Change is still readily out there yet 45 somehow thinks removing it from a couple of websites makes the argument go away.

I can’t believe the president is such a whiny lil bitch

Ok those are bad, my favorite for worst baby name is still Meconium, the mother heard it during delivery and thought it sounded pretty. I don’t know which is worst, people finding out your name is another name for weed or poop. Cause you know they can go weeks in a new school or job before someone figures out what it…

Okay, for real though, Texas Mickey is an excellent name in so many other contexts. Like, I am specifically picturing a stripper-turned-bounty hunter who roams a futuristic dystopic southland and has like... a morningstar made out of old nail salon files and animal skulls? I don’t know, I fucking LOVE IT.

There are a gazillion teachers in my family and social circle, so September is always a delightful one-upping contest of shitty names.

In the town where I used to live, there was a child named Texas Mickey. First name Texas, last name Mickey. Mostly it’s just really depressing that the parents clearly had absolutely zero hope for his future.

Shameless brag thread: I finished 2nd out of 79 women in a triathlon today! 

As someone with family in South Korea, what the everloving fuck, is this?!

Bless this American hero.