Make it Totino’s Pizza Rolls, then you’ve got a real script.

In my case, everything went perfectly. I still have a “ruffled” belly because you can’t deflate a balloon and not expect it to show signs of having once been blown up, but overall after both pregnancies with very large babies I bounced back with no ill effects whatsoever. Not everyone has a horror story to tell.***…

We have always bought used via lots and Craigslist and have had good luck in general. But after over 30 years of used cards, this year we purchased a new (OMG that word gives me the vapors) Honda HRV because we could not find a single reasonable deal on a local or nearly local Honda or Toyota. Specifically, we were…

Until you can get things settled for good (or for better), work on solutions for yourself rather than fixing her. Sleep in a room that’s less noisy. Even an air mattress in the living room is better than tossing around underneath noise. Also invest in a white noise machine — a Sleep Sense (formerly Dohm) helps me…

My favorite was Georgia, spelled J-O-R-J-I-A. I wanted to tell that Mom to go fuck herself.

I’m deeply, sincerely impressed! I’d finish 100th out of 79 women. Because penalty points for whining.

My summer camp is several cases of beer, a fridge full of sushi and mac’n cheese, my three best friends, a kiddie pool with pool-side chairs, two dogs (maybe more), and an ipad. Let’s get campin’!! (Later we’ll send someone soberer out for a box of Sour Patch Kids from the Dollar General, so we can get our sugar on…

He’s also appearing at East Central University (Ada Oklahoma...birthplace of Blake Shelton) on May 19th. OF ALL PLACES!?? My SonIL teaches there and my daughter works there as well. OF ALL PLACES. As places go, it ain’t so bad, but I hope he gets a decent crowd.

No I don’t have to iron it. I just wash it with the regular wash and then hang it dry. They do have lots of sales and that’s when I generally buy. I can say everything I’ve purchased from them has been very high quality. Nothing pills or shrinks or fades...they’ll last for several years and never look tired or dated.…

Garnet Hill.

Garnet Hill. It’s currently $88....which is a lot to pay (for me). I bought two last season on sale and I wear them CONSTANTLY. They wash up well, and I hang them to dry. It’s easy to look instantly put-together with leggings or jeans, ballet flats or sandals or dressed up with leggings and wedge heels and jewelry.…

I buy almost all of my clothing online. Capri leggings from Target and modern tunic tops from either Garnet Hill or Anthropolgie (on sale), shoes from Zappos in the brands I pretty much know will fit. If I want my shopping in person fix, I hit up Goodwill and sometimes TJMaxx. At this point I’m not interested in…

Aww. If you have it — rub a few drops of peppermint essential oil on your belly, and dab a few drops of lavender on your inner wrists and your temples.

I’m seriously NOT easily offended, and I can say definitely she was being snarky. But, I didn’t really care about it too much. I wouldn’t want her job, so I cut her some slack. I was also drinking lots of water because I was dissolving 1Above tablets in an effort to avoid jetlag. The two beers were one with each…

On an overnight flight to London, the flight attendant snapped at me because after she carried random drinks from the galley to our two rows of passengers, I asked her for some water as well. She snapped, “NEXT TIME, tell me that BEFORE I get your other drinks.” The galley was almost directly behind our seats and her…

Yes Ma’am!

You’re right it is a very different kind of feeling — and not always a pleasant one. Once you have children you are never fearless again. I often wonder if that is the “other very different kind of feeling” that people without children experience that those of us with children cannot.

Now I’m crying again. Thanks! (Damn perimenopausal hormones.)

I was wishy washy about having kids (accidentally wound up being a pretty good mom) and it looks like neither of my children will be having children — I have grand dogs and kitties.

We actually took our very old and very ill dog to McDonald’s for a hamburger right before we took him to be euthanized. He was raised in a hoarding house with way too many dogs and so he would eat anything, all day, every day. After we brought his body home, I was crying because, “Why did we get him only ONE…