Once the cat got explosive diarrhea in the master bedroom and my daughter came in while I was scrubbing the carpet and told me to clean it really well because that wasn’t a smell anyone would want to smell while you were in bed “hugging and touching each other’s faces.”

Champion.

WINE CORK WRAPPED IN PAPER TOWELS, ELECTRICAL TAPE & A CONDOM

One in hole!

“Which of my freedoms was Hillary promising to restrict?”

People seem to think the candidate they vote for has to complete them. I’m sure the same people rarely vote in midterm elections or for local issues. It’s so hard to find a deeply passionate shared life essence with a local Planning and Zoning board candidate.

“I don’t know how anyone expects Americans to choose between that”

Didn’t you hear, she was going to take away all of your guns. Just like Obama did...in both of his terms. He took away so many guns, you now have negative guns. And “Killary” was going to take away even more. That’s like double negative guns!!!!! And don’t forget she’s a lying crooked liar! And saint Trump is a beacon…

Yes, one was a literal fascist who is advised by a neo-Nazi and has said he will declare martial law in the “inner cities,” institute nationwide stop & frisk in violation of the Supreme Court, institute religious tests for entry into the country and create a literal Deportation Force with nebulous authority to round…

Best Kinja in 108 years.

Plus you have the added bonus of knowing your kids will never see another Cubs World Series win +1

Eulogy? MOAR LIKE EULA-GAY GRAMPA! High five bro!

Some perspective on how historic this is:

I must say I’m starting to have some doubts about this Trump gentleman. I initially quite liked his idea to make America great again; I was lucky enough to visit the country recently and I rated it only “very good” rather than “great” (I knocked a mark off because the hotel kept forgetting to change our towels and…

Well, there it is right there.

it’s just a picture of legs that cuts to an image of a man standing in a burning house and he has a goat head and his eyes are the black of the void and then it cuts back to an image of legs with paint on them and then it’s the goat headed man and he’s closer to the foreground and I can smell sulfur and then it cuts…

Oh, no, it’s fine to ask. He lives in Brooklyn, and you may not remember (or you may be too young,) but after the planes hit the towers and they fell, all traffic in and out of Manhattan was simply shut down. The bridges and tunnels were closed to vehicles, the subway, bus lines, and even the tramway to Roosevelt…

I disagree, he (and they) know what they are doing. Their base does not care about facts (liberal media) so they can say literally whatever they want and their voters will believe it. Shit, they could probably say that Hillary did 9/11 and it would go over well.

I think we can rule out Derrick as a suspect if you just review his shooting percentage

The gun shows where I am are held in a place with indoor plumbing. Running water, flushing toilets and everything!