citation needed

Those were the good old days. When eastern European gangsters compromising the President was something better left for summer blockbusters.

I hear she has 10 kids because her husband doesn’t like to use condiments.

They will certainly relish the opportunity.

Simply by merit of their inclusion in a salad, the salad is a fruit salad. 

Wait until the I.R.S. reads this and tries to “garnish” her wages.

Yes, Remember when President Harrison Ford totally kicked those terrorist’s asses?

No. Tomatoes are fruits, and were only declared vegetables for tax purposes.

Its not bad its just... bland.  Like the stock photo Boeing would show you before you selected your own color palate during the order process. 

is quite well-loved, even after 57 years of service, since the Kennedy Administration.

That said, it’s iconic at this point, and it seems bizarre to change it to something more generic.

Pedantic fact: the current VC-25s used for as Air Force One are not 747-400s but are 747-200s upgrades to the -400’s avionics and engines. Note the size of the hump on top - much smaller than the -400. 

This is getting insane.

That used to have its own problems, as sometimes the guy would overdo it and cut it so the top piece was barely a sliver of bread.

Any body remember when Subway used to carve out a trench rather than slicing the loaves mostly down the middle? It made for a much less messy eating experience. Why did they stop doing that?

PO: Whoa! You know what? Yes, it does. I’ll allow it. The court recognizes that a hot dog with no seam becomes a hot dog sandwich.

hopes to invite AOC to the townhouse for some soup. He’s sure to have a flavor she likes.

I mean c’mon, you’d creep on AOC too when she has moves like this. Especially if Donald Trump called your wife butt-ugly to your face on national TV and you chose to do nothing about it.

Not only is Cruz the Zodiac Killer, he is a bargain basement Lucifer.

Hey Kate...is a leaky corpse a sandwich?