Dieselgate literally doesn’t even bother me anymore. What does, however, is the fact that GM killed 124 people with its gross criminal negligence. That barely even flustered a single automotive journalist, yet Volkswagen emitting more NOx than is legal made the automotive community explode into World War 3. This blows…

I wrote about my near-death experience on my profile in case you care. I’m like fresh out of the womb so it’s not very good but still. ‘Twas frightening.

A BMW 7-Series almost killed me.

I do hope you're speaking in terms of reliability.

So wait- did you like the MK4? I have one and I love it.

So beyond happy to hear they’ll be focusing more on quality, rather than quantity. I hated the volume-seller attitude they had with Strategy 2018. Maybe after all, dieselgate will yield better overall VWs.

My MK7 GTI.

This is killing me.

For some reason, I've always kinda liked these cavaliers. I am well aware of how bad they are. My first girlfriend (5th grade!) had a family full of these and I remember our dates were had in the back of these, a parent shuttling us around up front. They were loud and low to the ground, which to my 10-year-old self…

B6 Passat VR6 4Motion. Like the 9-5, this will do down in history for me as the most beautiful four door.

Sometimes the horn on my F30 BMW 3-Series will not sound like it normally does- it’ll be really high-pitched and sound like it’s underwater. Also, the parking sensors tell me there is an object moving from the back of my car to the front, showing me its movements on the display, but there is nothing to be seen and I…

I’m sticking by Tesla’s side. Honestly, I think it’s a hella cool (hah! My name. Snuck it in there.) idea and we shouldn’t beat on them just because of some reliability issues- they’re a brand new car company, we shouldn’t hold them to Honda standards in durability just yet. Give them some time to figure shit out and…

Only one that I can think of off the top of my head- it was an E46 BMW 328i’s front attached to an S15.

Ahhhh yes. I’ve been waiting for a topic like this to pop is nasty little head through my rocker panels! Anyway. I bought my first car on my (almost) 16th birthday, two years ago. I was ECSTATIC because I chose a pristine MKIV Volkswagen Golf 2-Door over anything else I could have possibly had. Anyway, I get it home…

When are we going to stop milking this Volkswagen thing? GM knowingly left a faulty ignition switch that led to 124 deaths. It’s not unfair to say that other companies are cheating just as badly as Volkswagen with other things.

It’s official. Jason Torchinsky, you are the fly-est guy who’s ever lived. If a girl catches you cheating, I urge her to try and say she’s still mad with a straight face after reading that.

B5 Volkswagen Passat W8. Always loved the B5 Passat and this is the daddy.

Pretty much the ultimate catfish (coming from a “youth”, aka me). The next best thing would be if they invented the Fuckboy moth- one that talks to multiple female moths at a time, asks for them to “send pics ;)“, and says “baby, you’re the only moth I talk to!”

The Eos is staying in production :)

You are, by far, my favorite Jalopnik writer. I always laugh so hard with everything you create. The best times are when I’m sitting in lunch at school surrounded by ugly bitches I don’t like, reading one of your articles, and I burst out laughing. I get a sea of scoffs from my “friends”, and it makes my day so much…