Pete Rose should get into the HoF…posthumously. Honor his legitimate baseball accomplishments, but never let him have the satisfaction of being inducted while alive.

That was one magic loogie!

That just might be the funniest fucking line in any fucking movie I've ever seen. Just the delivery has me on my ass every time.

Yeah, two 20-strikeout games before the 'roids era really can't be argued with, unfortunately.

Came here to say this. They're both among the most colossal dicks ever in sports.

Edging. It's called edging.

"When"? Yankees Suck, always.

Fuck You Aaron Boone

The most chickenshit thing ever had to be when a pitcher intentionally walked Barry Bonds with the bases loaded.

Despite the fact that he trotted out the ol' "Baseball is boring" routine, his bit on baseball was great (it helps that I like Hannibal Buress a great deal and am willing to forgive him for occasionally saying something that might irritate me coming from somebody else).

"Okay, let's go over the ground rules. You can't leave first until you
chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning."

Really? See, I always assumed it worked the opposite way in that NL teams suddenly CAN use a DH when they're in an AL park, whereas the AL teams are handicapped by not being able to rely on it in the NL parks.

See, I always thought interleague play during the season was a fucking gimmick, concocted when they were desperate for fresh ideas to sell tickets in the '90s. The NL and AL shouldn't meet until the World Series, that's the whole point of it.

Hee hee, "Bumgarner".

Dude, I'm a Red Sox fan who's indifferent about the DH rule, and even I'd say calling Ortiz a "competent" 1B is stretching it. He was not a complete embarrassment at 1B (the easiest position), and that's the most that can be said.

Agreed. The ol' "Baseball is boring!" cliche is a sentiment spouted by edgy, ADD-afflicted motherfuckers who've had their attention spans destroyed by video games and action movies, and can't appreciate a form of entertainment that's not full of flashing lights and constant balls-to-the-wall pace. If you understand…

Pretty much!

"Political correctness" is a huge strawman. "Politically incorrect" just means "I want to be a huge dickhead and never get criticized for it!" This applied both to the title of Bill Maher's old show, and how right-wingers use the phrase now. All dickheads.

Oh, fuck off. She's a legal adult, and not too bad looking now. If I had been eyeing her since she was 14, counting down the days, that would be messed up. But I didn't do that. (OK, maybe my previous wording on that wasn't great). I'm just saying, I think I wouldn't NOT do her.

True, but Klingons are at least supposed to sound like they're barking aggressively, so it mostly works.