You sure this wasn't a rejected Fox News piece?

Ray, as a "fish out of water", you did a great job in that article. I almost expected you to tell everyone to give up on NASCAR and turn their attention to LeMons instead! But you really did do a great job with it. Well done.

@lilwillie wants another PCH: I'm not sure I agree that the races are too long, but they wait way too late in the day to start them. If the season opener had gone green around 1 PM EST instead of 3 or 4 PM or whatever it was, we might have gotten to see the Daytona 500 instead of the Daytona 290.

@Uncle Bo: Thanks for the response. I really like the COT on short tracks and for the most part on road courses, it's places like Atlanta and Michigan where I can't stand it. Do you think less aero at the intermediate tracks would result in worse racing than we have now?

Eh, it'll be like when they added the chick to Mythbusters. The main characters will still have their show, and the newbies will get a segment or two to appease Big Brother. And if done right, the newbies will have their own unique dynamic and make the show all the better. All will be well.

@engineerd: @Uncle Bo:

@slater: And I'll always think of this:

@GreenN_Gold: No need to apologize about the model correction, I'm 0 for 2 on basic proofreading today.

I'm somewhat bothered that we live in a world where someone who thinks that looks cool can afford a newish Dodge Challenger.

Here's to da master!

@Ash78: And that is why you are a legend here at Jalopnik. Well played. *golf clap*

@RC51: The guy I know who owns one reports mileage comparable to a V8 pickup. Of course, I don't know how hard he drives it, so it may just be him.

I have never, EVER seen one of those minivans before. Not even in pictures. The Chevy version, yes. But never a Pontiac. And here I thought Pontiac shed itself of the minivans that are still called minivans and went strictly with the minivans that are called crossover SUVs.

Pigs. Ridgeline. I see what you did there. Very nice.

@muhnkee_2 - jaloping from sunny sao paulo: I wish I had COTD-bestowing abilities, because that, my friend, made me laugh loud and long.

Seriously, the monstrous SUVs have gotten totally ridiculous.

Effin' internet and its free instant access to up-to-the-minute information, always messin' with my trade publications.

Glad to know he stayed shiny-side up in this Fusion.

@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: Wait, drug dealing is not a job?

I read the headline and immediately thought of this: