Loud pipes save lives!

I think it's obvious what happened here. Such a tragedy. Somebody showed this GT-R pictures of itself being assaulted and in an uncontrolled bout of depression and shame, it chose to end it all rather than continue with this image burned into its mind:

A bit avante-garde at times for my taste, but overall a great effort.

@WilliamG.: I just realized how cold that last part sounds. And yes, firing guns up in the air is a very stupid thing to do, but unfortunately, it's not confined to Texas.

@Paul Y. can't think of a better, shorter handle: My ex-fiance was originally from Ohio, and the first holiday season I knew her, I was home from college on break and she was five hours away with her grandmother. She called me up from her grandmother's trailer screaming and crying because it was almost midnight and…

@Mike the Dog: Trolling yourself? Way to raise the bar.

@superbad: Very true. My first thought when reading this was that he just wanted to go back to jail or prison.

I bet this idiot has never driven a French car.

Well, my beloved Grand Prix was 100.5 years old at the time of death. I seriously doubt whatever Kia or Toyota or Chevy Cruze they melt it down and recycle it into will have that kind of longevity.

THIS is a styling exercise? For real? I see what might be interesting seats, but the exterior looks worse than most of the Metros I see still running around. My neighbor has a Metro that looks more sporty than this. Well, had, he sold it during the $4 / gallon Metro craze.

@Cognitive_Friction: My aunt and uncle had a Chrysler-branded K-car when I was growing up. I don't know if it was a LeBaron or a New Yorker, either way it had a blue vinyl landau top and matching blue velour seats (much like the seats in my mom's Buick Regal of some years later, but I digress). The only thing I…

@DannyBN: Don't worry, that'll buff right out.

I love how the shifter looks like it came out of a truck.

...the country's emerging New Year's Eve pastime of burning cars for fun has resulted in 1,147 torched automobiles, up 30.64% from last year.

Is bio-ethanol the same stuff the IRL uses?

Let's see... $295,000 buys me one ugly viper or 32.78 5-story Detroit houses.

@Landau_Calrissian: The ad says the car was stretched six inches, so I'm assuming (I know what happens when one assumes) whoever did this probably had more brains than your typical 'wheel, TV, body kit, and stereo' shops.

Happy 2009 Jalopniks!

To me this car screams redneck with a kit car from the front and rookie South Miami drug dealer from the back.

It's news to me that they actually recall cars. Sounds like some crazy urban legend that'll end up on Snopes in a few weeks.